It was while working for MAX, the Movies and Events (read great cricket and Bollywood events) channel from what was then SET India Pvt Ltd (now MSM) way back in March 2001, when Jagdeep Dighe, Anil Garg and I were working with Kaacon Sethi on the (then) new MAX website and embellishments for it, that Kaacon came up with the term Sidhusisms. To the best of my knowledge and belief, I hadn’t heard that term before, and I am convinced it was Kaacon who coined it.
We had not only coined the term ‘Sidhuisms‘, but had also created a website devoted to those Sidhuisms. It received huge support and lots of content contributions from viewers of MAX and users of the site.
Reproducing here some of the best Sidhuisms. Enjoy!
1. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an incoming train which will run them over.
2. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
3. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!
4. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.
5. Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
6. Wickets are like wives – you never know which way they will turn!
7. After Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was runout in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados: “Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope.”
8. He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
9. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
10. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
11. The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.
12. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
13. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.
14. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
15. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
16. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala…one falls and everything else falls!
17. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a squeeze.
18. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
19. He is like a one-legged man in a bum-kicking competition.
20. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
21. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
22. This was uttered after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul ‘NOT OUT’ in the second test at Port of Spain, T&T. “Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands.”
23. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
24. One, who doesn’t throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
25. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
26. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
27. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
28. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.